The definition of EXTRAORDINARY states that one is capable of being both remarkable and or very unusual. On any given day I can solidify the term “very unusual” but today I’m defining remarkable. I am no stranger to the idea of a hard and difficult situation but over the course of the years I have become resilient in that pushing through adversity and overcoming hardships has been apart of my day to day. Raising children, working a full-time job, and becoming involved in my children’s extracurricular activities have become the norm, something I thought I was incapable. That’s the remarkable part of my life and I wouldn’t change it to appease not my or anyone’s definition of who they think I should be or society’s definition of the norm.
It’s unusual that despite me pushing full speed ahead I am still among the negative narratives of who they think I am and the role I ought to be since Ibecame the few who has change the dynamics of family and refuse to be labeled as a burden on society. Reasons are rather complex, no one sets out to be a single mother when raising children but life happens you can either let it manifest into something great or let in define you. I have chosen to be a single black woman raising four children on my own, it won’t define me though because though it’s faux pa I am choosing to be that exceptional single parent redefining the very odds that set me a apart from everyone else. Most will assume that I am the recipient of government assistance or depend upon child support thus the definitive idea of a burden but I am not, while I won’t knock anyone coping mechanism or financial preference I choose to work jobs that are up my experience alley. I won’t say I haven’t tried the previous mention before but the idea of becoming dependent on others is not my idea of getting shit done, besides my patience lacks the process of waiting around when I can handle shit on my own and get shit done. To fund the activities I have enrolled my children in I work multiple jobs or find the loop holes that adhere to my circumstance and take full advantage, I am not among the many to sit around and complain I get up every morning and with the idea of a woman on a mission. A simple but stern idea of getting shit done not because I want to but because I have to and four vulnerable humans who look to my behavior patterns as an example.
I don’t own anyone a explanation, I am open to my children about my choices that has redefined my life and I have assured them that they have become the better part of me in some strange but reassuring way. The family I have created is neither ideal nor accepted in Society but we are among a culture that’s growing. I assure them that others perception of us couldn’t be farther from the truth, but nevermind because we are who we allow them to believe we are. Hard work excels one to a level that far exceeds us all and tolerate what they are comfortable with accepting because society won’t bend for them knowing they are minorities or a product from a broken home because that story never ends well. On the vision board they will always be the tragic hero of a circumstance I created because nowhere will it define a mother working hard enough to push through the stereotypes.
I am never home at times because I have to provide and as such duty call. I am a caregiver on the job as the duties tend to follow me home on a daily basis. It’s an inconceivable notion that labels are placed on women because of the choices they make in their personal life. I am always defending woman, which over the years have become second nature to what I call the sisterhood cause. I don’t represent every woman, because obviously some have a different opinion from mine and they are entitled to those opinion but the idea is to stand up for each other no matter ones objective bias.
I have met some remarkable women over the course of my years many of whom are wiser and have alluded to the fact that in my time of great uncertainty my conscience will be my guide in the difficulties that surrounds me. That second guessing myself can be both my downfall or my failed intuition, be the woman I was created to be and walk the path paved just for me. To imitate someone else, my dear that’s the burden because that story was already illustrated, things and times change thus the world awaits your chapters of how and why you did what you did. The sisterhood is exceptional and quite frankly has taught me a thing or two about what women supporting women is all about. They are without a doubt unapologetic, endearing, and smart. This naive lost girl has come a long way and would not change a thing about her journey. A journey filled with lost, ingenuit, and misconceptions that I am coming face to face with despite life choices. There is no doubt my story is common but to me I’m fighting that extraordinary fight, the one that separates me from the rest. We are a few Extraordinary women, a few common souls with children, some without but I’m claiming my title with my own definition of what my life is about. That is how I define my idea of extraordinary.
***Disclaimer: the picture above is not mine, but suitable for the story I envisioned. A liberated tree that symbolizes a woman that is free.